Happy Valentine's Day!

This past week has not been fun. One would think a week off work would be great. That One would be wrong in this case.

The Good: L can't get enough of me, thinks I'm the greatest. He got another little toothy, and learned to dance. His babbling is getting quite sophisticated. He's discovered objects that are covered with a burp cloth are still under there (!) and thinks it is the funniest thing ever, followed closely by that old favorite Peek-a-Boo.

The Bad: L forgot how to sleep through the night. So, I don't sleep through the night, not good for the Hashi's! He also projectile vomited without known cause one night, just the one, lots of fun. I am in pain but he's usually in a great mood, as long as I don't make him sleep in his crib by his lonesome.

The Ugly: Baby spit up; epic-icky diapers. No time for a shower for me and a sick husband. 'Nuff said.

7-month-olds have a lot going on. Teeth coming in, getting mobile and body part discovery just to name a few. I wish I was more like him; too excited to sleep because I wanted to practice my Peek-a-Boo. It sure is hard to insist that the littlest love of my life go back to sleep when all he wants is to give me hugs and kisses!

I share the xoxo's with everyone who loves us and everyone we love:)

2010- I'm ready for you;D

Here I go with the resolutions again:

1.) Lose weight, at least 30 pounds.

* This will be hard b/c of the Hashimoto's Disease. And the fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. And the Whoppers. And Skittles.

Crap. Now I'm Hungry.

2.) Be more social.

*Facebook doesn't count. Except if the friends live out of state. Or if I am in a lot of pain that day. Or if it's really cold. Or hot.

This is why all my friends live in the laptop.

3.) Work on my personal relationship with Heavenly Father.

No jokes with this one, it's the only one that matters, everything else will fall into place when this does, I should think.

I didn't do too bad last year; all I wanted was to have a healthy baby, a closer relationship with my family and to lose 70 pounds after L was born. I did all those things.

Except the weight deal but I lost 40 and that is a good start. Sure, 10 of it was Liam, but I wouldn't have gained it in the first place if it wasn't for the years of fertility treatments, wellllll... and all the junk food I mentioned above.

I'm pretty happy though. Life is good.

Hashimoto's Disease/ Post Partum Thyroiditis

Seriously.

I sometimes wonder if I am so blessed because I take the crappy parts without complaint.

I have a mildly unpleasant type of thyroid problem that sends my hormones soaring and then crashing in a rapid-fire lunacy that makes me feel like an asylum case. It's like my hormones are bi-polar. Which would explain a lot.

When L was about four months old he was sleeping through the night and so was I, but I felt like I never actually woke up. I guess I would have just let it slide, blamed it on new-mom-syndrome (I'd already complained about it to my doc who'd done a few rounds of blood work) but two things happened. 1) I started having chest pain and could not breathe, 2) I considered taking a nap at a stoplight as if it were a logical thing to do. I got myself to my GP like my butt was on fire.

I presumed it was bronchitis, I have had it a lot back east and it has caused some chest pain. Sure, not this bad but I figured the extreme mommy fatigue could make it worse. It was actually kind of a funny conversation;

Amy the medical assistant. "So, you're thinking bronchitis?"

Me: "Yes"

Amy: "Do you have a cough?"

Me: "No."

Amy: "Congestion, Runny nose?"

Me: "No."

Amy: "Then why do you think you have bronchitis?"

Me: "Because I have chest pain and feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest, or I am drowning."

Amy: Silence

Me: "So... bronchitis."

Amy: Silence.

Me: "Or not."

Amy: "I'll go get the doctor."

Since I had been nursing the pain for a couple of weeks (oh and say-hey-by-the-way my blood work indicated I'd had really high thyroid levels for the past month, would have liked to know that) she did an ekg sent me to get more blood work and to a cardio guy and a endocrinologist. In fact she had her MA make the appointments for me to ensure I got in that day. Now my chest hurt, I was exhausted and scared I was going to die or something. Which would totally suck.

The cardio guy basically told me I was fine, which I had a hard time believing since I still had so much pressure in my chest that I felt like I was being crushed, but I was too tired to argue.
Next stop, endocrinologist. Who do to my previously high thyroid levels and no bottomed out levels diagnosed me with Post Partum Thyroiditis.

The pregnancy that keeps on giving. I swear, if I knew that this baby-journey from conception to now would be so rough.... I still would have done it. Who am I kidding? He's worth anything.

So here I am after a bunch of tests, an effective, if troublesome, drug that makes me feel like many of my bones are slightly broken. Apparently that's actually joint pain but what do I know about anatomy? It also indicates the possibility of another auto immune disease, Lupus.

Phuff. I watch "House"; it's never Lupus.

Are you KIDDING me with this jiggly jogging?

I am going to embrace my inner fat person ( who has been my outer fat person for the past couple years) because exercise is degrading.

I'm going to get those jeans that'll lift my butt and squish my thighs. I'll lean ALL of my mirrors a bit forward at the top to give me a false sense of slimness.

I will avoid looking at my lap while sitting unless my baby is in it.

What I will NOT do is watch my flesh dimple and shake while I run a few miles, play a little DDR on Wii, all in hopes of return to my former slender self.

I have done this before, I lost 60 pounds after Kristen. Sure it was 12 years ago and it was after my literally life-devastating divorce, and lost about 45 of those pounds in a fog of self destructive behaviour. I probably would have wasted away from the Despondency Diet if Bill hadn't wandered into my life, and gave me a much needed shake until my teeth rattled.

Figuratively, people.

Anyway, I'm ready to lose the weight and get back my energy. I have been dealing with a skin problem, massively distracting itchy, bumpy rashes (ew) and my dermatologist has prescribed some stuff which makes me itchy and bumpy (which I was before) and now my skin burns like a house-a-fire (which is a new development).

So, hey. Maybe I'll open a cupcake shop and then no one will think twice about my chubbiness. Bakers are always a bit "fluffy", it goes beautifully with the tall hat.

And I really like cupcakes.

So Busy, So Tired, So Joyful!

I am blessed beyond belief. My kids are such a joy to me. D is practically 14 (gulp) and K is in junior high now, so weird. L is changing so fast, I feel like I scrambling to keep up with them all!

D's devotion to Bionicles is as strong as ever. With the The legend Reborn coming out he is even more committed to knowing everything there is to know about them. His obsessive fascination is typical of Aspie's and it does worry me that he is a little too engrossed, but I try to stress the Strong elemental aspects and hope that it will lead to a wider interest in science. I also try to get him to write about it because he has a real grip on the ideas and understands the construction of the canonical story line. He impresses me with his ability to immediately apply what he learns in school to his Bionicle world!

Kristen is still focused on skating, her clique at school at Katy Pery. She went to Katy at the fair and enjoyed it alot, she hasn't stopped talking about it! I have to say her clique seems a little snotty and self- absorbed but I guess that is pretty typical of the middle school set. I remember being pretty much the same way! She is still a bit of a tomboy, but she is beginning to become more tolerant of girly things. Hurray!

L is amazing! He is growing so fast, and he is such a big boy. He's been sleeping in his room finally, he usually only gets up once a night, so that is like the best gift a mommie can ask for. He still resists his crib (I can't figure that out) but sleep's well in his bassinet. He rolled over once at 9 weeks but hasn't done it again. He hates tummy time so I am afraid he'll never crawl, LOL, but he holds his head up remarkably well and has for a while now. He is very social, and constantly strives to keep all eyes on him. His smiling and cooing makes me feel so wonderfully happy, and watching B with him brings me to happy tears. I am so thrilled that my husband can leave behind his natural reticence behind to be silly and cuddly with the baby. He loves to make L laugh and coo, and watching them interact is the high point of my day!

I am back to work, and it is not as bad as I thought it would be. My MIL is the main reason, she is the perfect grandma! She is all about the g-babies! She is loving, cuddly and endlessly patient. We feel so blessed to have her in our lives. My FIL is fantastic too I am so glad they moved out here. They really fit in Sun City, although they feel like the kids of the town! At 67 and almost 65 they are still totally active and full of excitement about what life has to offer.

All in all, I am outrageously happy and spend alot of time thanking God for his gifts, He has kept my cup full and I am so grateful everyday.

Fretting about going back to work

Can someone please tell me how I can leave my baby? Ugh. I know that I have to go back to work and I really like my job alot. But how am I supposed to let my tiny infant out of my sight for 7 hours? Its like setting your heart your actual beating heart on the windowsill and hoping for the best.

Moms are medical marvel; we just let our hearts walk around all on their own.

*Sigh* At least I have 4 more weeks to spend in my baby centered world. I'm thankful for that.

Poor Baby's Ouchie

Awful. Just Awful.
I didn't think it would be that big of a deal, I know it is a totally common procedure. I went through it with D and that was awful way back then, too. I still remember being horrified that all they gave him was sugar. The doc back then swore it would be fine and he was right.
The difference is that they would not allow me to be in the room with L during the procedure. I suppose I could have kicked up a fuss, but it seemed like it would be fine. So I went down to the gift shop, got a soda and waited.
OMG, I thought my heart was breaking when they brought him into the waiting room! Did he howl? I guess. This child has never cried with such outrage and pain. Even remembering it is tightening my chest and making my skin crawl. Then I had to put him in his car seat which snaps right at the crotch, ugh.
The ride home was a very heart wrenching 5 minutes. If it had been any longer I suppose I would have died of a broken heart, LOL. We got home and he chugged down a bottle, Daddy swaddled him like he's never been swaddled before, I sang him a few lullabyes and he conked out.
Huh, babies are marvel.