Are you KIDDING me with this jiggly jogging?

I am going to embrace my inner fat person ( who has been my outer fat person for the past couple years) because exercise is degrading.

I'm going to get those jeans that'll lift my butt and squish my thighs. I'll lean ALL of my mirrors a bit forward at the top to give me a false sense of slimness.

I will avoid looking at my lap while sitting unless my baby is in it.

What I will NOT do is watch my flesh dimple and shake while I run a few miles, play a little DDR on Wii, all in hopes of return to my former slender self.

I have done this before, I lost 60 pounds after Kristen. Sure it was 12 years ago and it was after my literally life-devastating divorce, and lost about 45 of those pounds in a fog of self destructive behaviour. I probably would have wasted away from the Despondency Diet if Bill hadn't wandered into my life, and gave me a much needed shake until my teeth rattled.

Figuratively, people.

Anyway, I'm ready to lose the weight and get back my energy. I have been dealing with a skin problem, massively distracting itchy, bumpy rashes (ew) and my dermatologist has prescribed some stuff which makes me itchy and bumpy (which I was before) and now my skin burns like a house-a-fire (which is a new development).

So, hey. Maybe I'll open a cupcake shop and then no one will think twice about my chubbiness. Bakers are always a bit "fluffy", it goes beautifully with the tall hat.

And I really like cupcakes.

So Busy, So Tired, So Joyful!

I am blessed beyond belief. My kids are such a joy to me. D is practically 14 (gulp) and K is in junior high now, so weird. L is changing so fast, I feel like I scrambling to keep up with them all!

D's devotion to Bionicles is as strong as ever. With the The legend Reborn coming out he is even more committed to knowing everything there is to know about them. His obsessive fascination is typical of Aspie's and it does worry me that he is a little too engrossed, but I try to stress the Strong elemental aspects and hope that it will lead to a wider interest in science. I also try to get him to write about it because he has a real grip on the ideas and understands the construction of the canonical story line. He impresses me with his ability to immediately apply what he learns in school to his Bionicle world!

Kristen is still focused on skating, her clique at school at Katy Pery. She went to Katy at the fair and enjoyed it alot, she hasn't stopped talking about it! I have to say her clique seems a little snotty and self- absorbed but I guess that is pretty typical of the middle school set. I remember being pretty much the same way! She is still a bit of a tomboy, but she is beginning to become more tolerant of girly things. Hurray!

L is amazing! He is growing so fast, and he is such a big boy. He's been sleeping in his room finally, he usually only gets up once a night, so that is like the best gift a mommie can ask for. He still resists his crib (I can't figure that out) but sleep's well in his bassinet. He rolled over once at 9 weeks but hasn't done it again. He hates tummy time so I am afraid he'll never crawl, LOL, but he holds his head up remarkably well and has for a while now. He is very social, and constantly strives to keep all eyes on him. His smiling and cooing makes me feel so wonderfully happy, and watching B with him brings me to happy tears. I am so thrilled that my husband can leave behind his natural reticence behind to be silly and cuddly with the baby. He loves to make L laugh and coo, and watching them interact is the high point of my day!

I am back to work, and it is not as bad as I thought it would be. My MIL is the main reason, she is the perfect grandma! She is all about the g-babies! She is loving, cuddly and endlessly patient. We feel so blessed to have her in our lives. My FIL is fantastic too I am so glad they moved out here. They really fit in Sun City, although they feel like the kids of the town! At 67 and almost 65 they are still totally active and full of excitement about what life has to offer.

All in all, I am outrageously happy and spend alot of time thanking God for his gifts, He has kept my cup full and I am so grateful everyday.

Fretting about going back to work

Can someone please tell me how I can leave my baby? Ugh. I know that I have to go back to work and I really like my job alot. But how am I supposed to let my tiny infant out of my sight for 7 hours? Its like setting your heart your actual beating heart on the windowsill and hoping for the best.

Moms are medical marvel; we just let our hearts walk around all on their own.

*Sigh* At least I have 4 more weeks to spend in my baby centered world. I'm thankful for that.

Poor Baby's Ouchie

Awful. Just Awful.
I didn't think it would be that big of a deal, I know it is a totally common procedure. I went through it with D and that was awful way back then, too. I still remember being horrified that all they gave him was sugar. The doc back then swore it would be fine and he was right.
The difference is that they would not allow me to be in the room with L during the procedure. I suppose I could have kicked up a fuss, but it seemed like it would be fine. So I went down to the gift shop, got a soda and waited.
OMG, I thought my heart was breaking when they brought him into the waiting room! Did he howl? I guess. This child has never cried with such outrage and pain. Even remembering it is tightening my chest and making my skin crawl. Then I had to put him in his car seat which snaps right at the crotch, ugh.
The ride home was a very heart wrenching 5 minutes. If it had been any longer I suppose I would have died of a broken heart, LOL. We got home and he chugged down a bottle, Daddy swaddled him like he's never been swaddled before, I sang him a few lullabyes and he conked out.
Huh, babies are marvel.

Lost the baby weight!

I can't believe it! In only 12 days I lost 35 pounds! I wish that would happen for the 15 I gained while stimming and the 30 I gained before that... but I 'll take what I can get.

I think it's because i am the happiest i have ever been in my life and not really anything I'm doing; except laying of the Whoppers:)

*Sigh* Life is gooooood.

The Itchy C-section Story

We arrived at the hospital at 530 am for my 730 c-section... and we were told that it had been rescheduled for 830am with no notice. B was not thrilled, he doesn't do mornings. (in fact he had half joked he'd drop me off and be back by c section time haha) I'd also gotten no sleep and woke up at 4am to get all beautiful for my first pics with my son. So i was tired and over anxious.
Then my surgery nurse Elisabeth (LOVE her) informed me that I had to take a shower with pre surgery disinfectant (or what ever it is) With my sensitive skin it might as well have been fire ant venom. It beats the crap out of getting an infection and having to have all my limbs amputated like that lady on Oprah, though, so whatev.
Then we waited. we looked over the baby book, watched the CNN coverage of Micheal Jackson and asked Elisabeth. "How about now? Is the doctor here? How about now?" in increasingly impatient voices.
I got my IV, got the belly shaved and drank the remarkably nasty tummy-settling shot while Bill dressed in his scrubs. The put me on the travel gurney and rolled me into the operating room. It's funny I hadn't been nervous about the actual surgery until we hit that bright room with the tiny table and the anesthesiologist who sounded exactly like Norm Mc donald. In my head I'm like, " I changed my mind! I don't want Norm mc donald to give me a spinal and lay me on a tiny table!" Luckily, Elisabeth could talk a monkey down from a tree, and she let me lean on her itty bitty little self while they gave me the spinal. It hurt all the way up to my freakin' teeth but we kept repeating, "All for Liam". Boy, that spinal worked fast as lightening, I felt liked I'd been novacained and wrapped in itchy felt. They had to lay me down on the tiny table quick and I told Elisabeth not to let me fall off. Elisabeth laughed. I told her I was totally freakin' serious. She said she make sure of I stayed on!
They finally let Bill in and I felt much better. Then Dr F came in, asked me I could feel him pinching me and in a snap I heard Liam's first cry. I was unprepared; it was so quiet and calm (if a baby's first cry can be calm, Liam's was.) B ditched me immediately to get the first pics. Dr F held him and I thought, "Dude the kid is huge!" and he was. Bill ran back and forth between me and Liam, saying "He's so amazing!" I was like, "Uh-huh, now can I see him?" They brought him over and I could feel my heart growing, actually feel it, tho I couldn't feel anything else! They sent Liam and Bill to the newborn Nursery, then cleaned me up, stitched me up and rolled me into recovery.
I was high as a kite and could not stop gushing about my new son, my other kids and my husband to Elisabeth. After an hour I was getting sensation back but had not seen Liam, or B either. Elisabeth called the Newborn nursery and let me know Liam was have a little trouble breathing and couldn't join me just yet. She was a very comforting person, becasue somehow I did not have a meltdown and that is a freakin miracle. ( Maybe she's like Jasper in Twilight, LOL) They sent me to my long term room and Bill finally tore himself away from his son to give me an update. Liam was having trouble but it was going to be okay, and B ran right back. He's a man wild for his son!
About 4 hours after I had surgery I started to itch. I mean itch like crazy. My face puffed up like a blowfish and I couldn't stop rubbing. (So much for the pretty mommie pics!) They had to give me a shot and I was a stoned crab after that. I just kept asking for Liam and B kept assuring me it was okay. They gave him an x ray, and he was just fine.. then they flipped him on his back rather than his belly and he started breathing normally. Just like that.
So, I finally got to hold my baby. It was surreal, between the drugs and the new mom high. Then I fell asleep. Bills family came to visit and coo over our pretty boy. Since the drugs for the allergy were knocking me unconscious, I let Liam go to the nursery and sent Bill home at 7pm. I told him to enjoy his last night of uninterrupted sleep!
All in all, it was not nearly as bad as I'd thought it would be, compared to the first one!

Liam Sean McConaghy 06/26/09!

Liam Sean McConaghy born on Friday June 26, 2009 at 8:58 am 7 pounds 6 ounces 20 inches


What a week! I hardly believe that he is finally here. After thinking he'd be terribly early, he came in at a respectable 38 weeks. Good thing, too; he was already 7 pounds 6 oz. I wonder how big he'd have been at 40 weeks:)
Not that it mattered much what with having another c section and all. The c-section itself, not being an emergency this time, was weird. It took so long and was so strangely routine. I hated the spinal block, and the slowly numbing sensation was like being novacained then wrapped in felt. I was also scared to death that I'd fall off that tiny little table. Gag.
It was all totally worth it though. My newest son is so gorgeous. He was in the newborn nursery for quite a while; he was have some trouble breathing but Dad stayed by his side. The hospital is renovating and the L & D floor is all spread out he spent 4 tense hours running back from the nursery to my ever increasingly nervous side. He was the perfect man, as usual.
The only bug in the garden, really, is that I decide against breastfeeding. Between the pain and latching problems I just became overly frustrated. I am not the most patient person and also breastfeeding did not feel natural at all. I decided there are so many ways I want to bond and spend time with my son and forcing him to eat is not one of them! B was totally supportive as always.
I finally escaped the hospital on Monday and the rest of the week has been a blur. A happy blur that is! Recovery has gone well, I feel great and even walked a mile this mornig with Liam in his jogging stroller. In fact I have more energy and vigor than B! He's exhausted. I admit it is a real treat to be the competent calm one for a change.
All in all, I am in Heaven. I don't think I have ever been so happy. My life is so full of joy and I thank God for his grace everyday.